“Men Are Trash” + OOTD

Jacket: Zara | Top: Bershka | Jeans: Grandma Funk | Trainers: Vans

A disclaimer before you commence to read: all opinions are … opinions. Therefore, there is no right or wrong.

If it isn’t evident enough, our generation (the “milennials” I guess) have really switched up the dating game. Some things (actually a lot) of things are quite bizarre now and you realise it when you try to explain how relationships work to the older generation. If you haven’t already, try explaining the “talking stage” and “potentials” to someone about 40+. Anyways, I’m going to give my opinion on certain statements that I hear/see in conversations … again, keyword being: opinion.

“men are trash” 

– This is so invalid. Not all men can be boxed into one category and they choose if they want to be trash. Okay, yes, there are so many trashy/savage stories you hear posted all over social media but, that’s because it’s more “entertaining” to hear those kind of stories than stories of chivalrous guys I guess. Besides, so many guys have been labelled “corny” for doing sweet gestures for their girls so maybe, just maybe, that puts girls/guys sharing that element of their relationship.

“a guy should always pay for the date”

– Personally, it’s a no from me. I rather pay for myself. I’ve heard the argument of “if you’re asking me to go out, then why should I pay?”; I can argue that when I ask my girls to come shopping with me, they don’t expect me to buy them clothes etc. Also, if the date is unsuccessful, I would rather the other person not think “what a cashloss” and moreso “it wasn’t going to work between us”. Furthermore, I believe women can treat men too. There’s no shame in taking a guy out for a date or buying him gifts.

“if you don’t have money, you shouldn’t date”

– I don’t know why money is such a big factor in relationships, especially in the early stages of a relationship. I’ve recently seen the whole “£10 date” fiasco on twitter and honestly, money shouldn’t be a deciding factor of shooting your shot. Sometimes the “brokest” or “cheapest” guys are more creative and sentimental. I for one can say that I would rather go for a walk/picnic, than go for a meal at the Shard just for image.

“women these days are a deception”

– This I can agree with about 70%. But I can’t blame women since standards are so high that there is a societal pressure to look a certain way and upkeep it. This is why I’ve heard of cases whereby guys have not seen their girlfriends or someone they’re “talking to” without makeup, their wig etc. I don’t agree on looking completely different with all the extra enhancements (makeup, hair etc.) though; I think it should be used to enhance your features, not completely Hannah Montana yourself.

“all men cheat”

– I’m indecisive about this. I’ve come to terms with it so it doesn’t surprise me if a guy does cheat. BUT I believe there are guys who wouldn’t cheat on their partners if they really didn’t want to. Also, I believe that cheating stems from a deep rooted problem within the relationship and that triggers the cheating. AND, woman too, can cheat!

“always have options”

– This is regarding potentials. It makes sense in this day and age, but personally, I don’t think I could talk to more than one person. Only because I feel like if I’m really spending time to invest into someone then my interest should be solely focused on that person. Besides, to even get to that stage (for me), means that I must be interested in that person … which is rare.

“women think they can change a man”

– I think regardless of gender, a person can inspire change in someone else’s life. To make it a mission in a relationship though? … you’ll be destined for disappointment.

“women get finessed” 

– Sad but true. Girls really can fall into the trap so easily (especially in uni). That being said, men get finessed too! Please be smart with your time and money so you can avoid finessers!

“the talking stage means you have no commitment to each other’

– It’s true but I don’t necessarily agree with it. Initially, of course there’s no commitment. But let’s say 6 months down the line, I don’t believe there could be realistically a several contenders that you still view as potentials. Instead, someone’s getting finessed or you’re still “talking” out of convenience probably. Basically, if it were me, if I was talking to someone, within those six months, I would’ve lost interest in the other potentials because I would gain interest in only one person. At that point, I believe there should be some sort of commitment to each other (but that’s also relative to each person’s intentions). 

Basically to round up, I’m pretty much a hopeless romantic that is traditional but “liberal”. This probably doesn’t make sense but I’m pretty much here for the old school form of dating (I still love the idea of producing a “mixtape” for your significant other and having promise rings lol); but, I don’t agree on the pressure on roles within a relationship. That being said, the woman can be the breadwinner, the man doesn’t always have to be the one taking their partner out for a date and the woman can also buy gifts for their partner!

Thanks for reading and comment below if you agree or disagree on any of my views!

– Joanita